Sarah stood outside on the line for the Miss Roc show, and waited for Donald to appear. She overheard that today's theme was "Who is Jesus?"
She laughed to herself, and realized that she was mad because she felt that something had been promised to her. If I rethink my life, if I risk everything and really listen to the new possibilities that present themselves, then I will be rewarded. But in actuality no one had promised her anything.
Jesus promised eternal life. Part of her believed that she was following Jesus. It was Donald's business card that started it all. Donald, her own personal Jesus. What was he promising? He was so passive. He set her off on this direction, but he seemed to have no idea where it led. The blind leading the blind.
"Hi. Am I late?"
"No." He was never late. She granted him that.
They stood there awkwardly and then he hugged her. She could tell just then that her need for Donald was the opposite of her need for Bob. She needed Donald to kiss her and not wait to be kissed, not wait until they were kissing good-bye. But she had another need that was greater: the need to speak what was in her heart.
"Did you like that kiss, when we kissed good-bye last time?" she asked.
"That was ... real. It felt real, and it felt like you were feeling it, too."
"Yeah, that's why I asked." She stepped into him and grabbed him around the waist. It felt like she had stepped over a line. His arms enveloped her.
"I'm so happy," she said, and he held her tighter, choking her with happiness. Tears poured out of her eyes. "Oh God, I'm getting you all wet."
She stepped back, back into the same spot, at the same distance she was before, but now she didn't feel alone. She was frightened at the sureness of this feeling.
"You let your light show," said Donald. "I remember the first time I saw you, your face was like a stone. All the sadness came out of your toes. Now you're like a light on a hill. You're beautiful, Sarah. Beautiful."
Had any words moved her like this before? She couldn't speak. It was too much all at once. She couldn't see. Eventually she realized she was in his arms again.
"Are you seducing me?" she asked softly.
"No," he said.
Damn damn damn damn damn.
Object: Kratzin's Restaurant