"Can't you take my love?" she thought, or maybe said. Quite loudly, in fact. "Can't you take it? You can give it, sure. But take it when I give it to you! Are you afraid? Everyone is so fucking afraid in this city! We rub against each other all the time, but we're so damn scared of each other. I can't breathe! I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" She looked for a moon but only found a dull empty sky. "Damn it! Why can't I be enough? Why does it have to be you? Men are fucking pigs. You're the opposite of Max, but you're the same. Max would take my love but he would just grunt over it. He couldn't admit that I was thrilling him. Do I thrill you, Bob? Do I drive you wild? Or am I just a slut? Have you already forgotten me?" She was crying now but she couldn't stop talking. "Can't you just admit that I'm the queen? I'm the queen of your dreams!" Pound on the couch. Pound! Pound! And still she keeps talking. "You could wake up with me. I could stand on either side of your every day. And every day bring you such pleasure and comfort. All you have to do is accept it. What are these kisses? These kisses of yours? You just violate me like that. If you don't let me touch you then it's just molestation."
"Molestation!" she screamed. "I... it's molestation, motherfucker!"
Sarah's thoughts turned to Max, running on the momentum of her anger. She remembered sex with him, vividly remembered every place he pressed against and with how much weight, the smell of his sweat, the kisses. Max was not savage in bed. It was as if he had all this tenderness inside and this was the only time he let it out.
And she thought he loved her. Even though he didn't say anything. She thought he loved her even if he didn't know it yet. Could it be that for him sex is just an animal urge that's over when it's over? Jackie said women fall in love because they're so vulnerable during sex. They're being entered. The man looms above them. The act of letting them in is such a loving act.
God, what a nightmare. That can't be right. Dare she hope that she can find a man who's not just getting off inside her, who understands the tenderness of his own kisses? And what was the advantage of protecting herself? So she could live her whole life alone?
Object: Miss Roc Show